Saturday, July 11, 2015

UCG Fashion Sense: "Lazy Modern Slob"

 From a reader here:
In the local UCG congregation the preferred style seemed to be women in pants with men's haircuts. Not too sexy. Much more ungodly than the way UCG women dressed was the way many of them thought, talked, and behaved. The complete lack of decency of some ignorant, rude, crude, noisy, gossipy, slanderous old slobwomen in the UCG made their lack of fashion sense seem downright unimportant by comparison.

Putting lipstick on one of those pigs would not have helped. There was also a noticeable tendency for the men's fashion in the UCG to be “lazy modern slob” with one real weirdo even claiming to be unable to wear a necktie because it bothered his neck too much. One would try to be understanding and sympathetic toward his predicament except that the demon-influenced moron always went out of his way to be a pain in the neck to other people.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

2nd Witless Witness Laura Weinland's Birthday Now Has Eschatological Significance

Ever since Ron Weinland was imprisoned for using tithe money for his own family's use, he has been plagued by countless nightmares causing him to write them down as spiritual revelations from his impotent god.

Once Weinland knew his fate was sealed and would have to serve a biblical 3 1/2 years in prison, he had to appoint his wife as his immediate successor.  She became the 2nd of the end time two witnesses, received the power to ordain, and continued to spend church money on herself, her money-laundering daughter Audra and BMW loving Jeremy.  The church is now paying to fly Laura and Audra around the world where they preach the appalling doctrines of imprisoned felon Ron Weinland.

Witless Witness Laura recently released a chart detailing the end-times according to her own nightmare and those of her imprisoned husband.

Laura is now such a masterpiece of creation that her birthday now surpasses anything that ever happened on the day Jesus was born.  Laura's birthday falls on the day Weinland is released from prison and is now a direct sign from god as to how significant she is.

Here is a clip from the chart that the Wienland's recently sent out,  The entire chart is here.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Rod Meredith Has The Power To "Mark" You Even Though You Are NOT An LCG Member

It must be amazing to be the most important man on earth who wields uncontrollable power like Rod Meredith.  Did you know that Rod has the power to "mark" you, even though you are not an LCG member, for being a heretic, trouble maker or just an all around rebel-rouser?  I am surprised that Rod did not "mark" me when he publicly lashed out at this if I care.

This category denotes the most severe of all actions of New Testament discipline (Romans 16:17). Why must we “mark” an individual? For strife or causing division among members or those who cause others to participate in their sinful ways (2 Peter 2:10-14) or because not doing so will destroy the faith of sincere members. Marking protects all parties and stops false rumors.  Any marking before the congregation should be discreet, and with counsel from Headquarters.  It may become necessary for the Pastor to carefully counsel the person’s associates.  The minister should totally avoid any public or private references to the person, which could possibly be slanderous. 
Note: ONLY the Presiding Evangelist, or in his absence or incapacity, the Director of Church Administration, is empowered to mark a person who is not a member, adherent and/or attendee of Living Church of God.  Generally, Churches have no legal right to “discipline” non-members.  However, churches retain the right to protect those who are members by warning them of spiritual danger.LCG Pastoral Manual pg 3-14
When the Pastor must mark a member publicly, he must not ad-lib an explanation.  He should write down statements that have been carefully thought out, with counsel, and read a prepared announcement using the form provided via the website.  This safeguard helps to avoid making emotional statements that may be unfair or defamatory. When, or if, a disfellowshipped member is re-admitted to fellowship, statements made in marking him should not leave impressions in the minds of members that preclude forgiveness and reconciliation. A minister should always be concerned for the person’s welfare regardless of what he has done, as expressed in Romans 5:8.  A minister should strive to provide for the person’s return to the Church congregation.  Marking is normally necessary only in the Church congregation where the person attended. If the marked person affects people in other congregations, it may become necessary to notify the affected Pastors who would have to determine if the notice should be mentioned to their Church. 

We have all seen how well disfellowshipping and marking individuals has went in LCG and other COG's  Its one big smear campaign.  There is no hope whatsoever that those disfellowshipped and marked would ever return after their reputations have been dragged through the mud.  Their names have been permanently tarnished in the eyes of LCG members.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Let's Party!!!!! COG False Prophet Declares That Tribulation CANNOT Start Till 2020

It is always such a relief when Church of God prophets declare that the end is not going to be happening by certain dates.  This is in sharp contrast to the many men in the COG who for many decades have been entertained us with one failed prophecy after another.

With our two Canadian frauds, Malm and Henry, making their worthless declarations recently we are now blessed to have Bob Thiel give us the RIGHT information.  Thiel is much more enlightened than any of the other COG prophets are and therefore has the CORRECT timeline direct from his god.   Ever since he bamboozled Gaylyn Bonjour into "doubly blessing " him, Thiel has let the world know that God is only working through him and a few hundred African members.

Because Thiel is now the sole possessor of all things Godly, he has left Rod Meredith, Dave Pack and Gerald Flurry quaking in their HQ's with embarrassment.

Thiel's latest declaration was made on July 6, 2015. He says that the tribulation CANNOT start until 2019.

When is the earliest year that the Great Tribulation can?

Various ones seem to feel that it can begin in 2015 or 2016 or that it already started some time ago.

Those who believe and understand what the Bible actually teaches realize that the Great Tribulation cannot begin before 2019.

At this instant, unless we see more major conflict in the Middle East between now and the end of the Summer, it is unlikely that the Great Tribulation can begin prior to 2020.

When the Black Gentile (in COG righteous British Israelite eyes) was elected to the office of President in the United States COG prophets went into catatonic fits.  Even Thiel had to weigh in with this:
The Great Tribulation is coming, but it will not begin in 2015. And, as I announced within days after Barack Obama was re-elected, I did not believe that it would can begin until after his second term ended. And as of July 7, 2015, I do not believe that it can begin prior to 2019.
Now that we have a few more years to party and enjoy life, lets not waste it by following these duplicitous morons.

Monday, July 6, 2015

UCG Facing More Rebellion In Malawi, Africa Sends In The White Man To Control Them

From a reader here.

UCG recently lost three of its church leaders in Malawi.   UCG claims they all resigned for "health reasons."  Many others claim there is far more to the story.  Apparently UCG is not content with the African members running their own boards and being "independent" from Cincinnati.  It has now appointed Aaron Dean to sit on their church board.  This will have a chilling effect upon the local leadership.  No one will ever question or stand up to the powerful white man from Cincinnati.  He is from the church HQ and he is more enlightened than they are, and since he is a true descendant of the 12 tribes he is of the same skin color as Jesus Christ.

UCG has had a bad track record in Africa.  From stolen cows to lawsuits filed by Kubik and crew.  Is it any wonder no one trust them any more!  For people that claim to be the one and only "TRUE" church on earth today, they certainly are setting the wrong example!

Sunday, July 5, 2015

UCG: Only In A COG Will You Have Leadership Devoting Hours Of Talk While Fasting About A LOGO!

The latest Counsel of Elders report is out from those fun folk in Cincinnati.  UCG has been dumping tens of thousands of dollars into brave attempts to rebrand its image.  The tired and worn out 1980's ways of doing things are not working too well for the Cincinnati crowd.

They first started a media campaign to give the world a better view of the UCG.  That hundred thousand dollar expense basically garnered "1" potential member.  Money was dropped on billboard campaigns and other advertising avenues.

Then UCG had the bright idea of redoing its main web site.  Frustrated by the more advanced new designs of the Philadelphia Church of God and the Restored Church of God with their new web site, UCG knew it had to do something.

Always ones to blend into the world as best as the can while still keeping a little toe in Armstrongism, they redesigned their web site.  The problem with their new design was that you had to go several steps into it before you ever found out anything that really described what the church was rally about or what it believed.  the first few pages was full of syrupy feel good articles meant to draw the viewer in.

Their next step was to redesign the Beyond Today blog and TV cast.  That is where things are starting to get weird.  The UCG COE has been "fasting" over its new logo. A logo!

In the Church of God, fasting was always used as an avenue to appease a god that was eternally pissed off about something. It was always used by the church as a tool to gain more money.  Occasionally it was used as a means to beseech the angry god to heal people. They were always "one time acts" meant to make God change it's mind.

Isaiah58 has a different take on fasting than what most COGs every use it for.  Fasting was never a required in scripture and was never something that Jesus commanded of his followers.

Christian fasting is more than denying ourselves food or something else of the flesh - it's a sacrificial lifestyle before God. In Isaiah 58; we learn what a "true fast" is. It's not just a one-time act of humility and denial before God, it's a lifestyle of servant ministry to others. As Isaiah tells us, fasting encourages humility, loosens the chains of injustice, unties the chords of the yoke, frees the oppressed, feeds the hungry, provides for the poor, and clothes the naked. This concept of fasting isn't a one day thing - it's a lifestyle of servant living for God and others.

Imagine that, fasting is about "servant leadership."  We have all seen to well how well THAT has worked in the COG!  Servant leaders in a COG is an oxymoron.

Instead of praying and fasting for the continuing trauma in the UCG due to its burdensome doctrines and heavy handedness, they are fasting and praying for a logo!  A stupid advertising logo!

President Kubik welcomed everyone and explained that the purpose of his presentation was to show the Council the latest design of the proposed United Church of God and Beyond Today logos. This is a follow up to the meeting in May in which general consensus led to the further development of one of the designs. He discussed the many meetings held with the LPK firm about the logo design. The discussions included what could not be used such as religious symbols and any depiction of God.Clint Porter, Beyond Today (BT) visual designer and video producer, was introduced to give a presentation on what logos are and what they are not. Then three representatives from LPK were introduced to give their explanation of the design they have been working on.

The Council was then asked for input. Their questions and comments about the logo were discussed for over an hour.

Mr. Kubik reminded everyone of the need for an updated Church and BT logo and mentioned the credentials of the world-renowned LPK firm. The administration has prayed and fasted about this process, and they are now asking the Council to reach a decision. A resolution was read and discussed. The discussion continued for about another hour and a half.

The COE spent an hour and a half talking about a LOGO and then not able to reach a consensus, they knew they could not put it to a vote, so extended the "study" time of the all important logo. There are priorities in the UCG and it apparently does NOT include its hurting members.  The all important logo will inspire tens of thousands of new income bearing members  to join the end-times army as they prepared to become "Gods" and get their own planets.

Due to the length of discussion and considerable input expressed about the proposed logo, Mr. Webber recommended not taking this matter to ballot, which is the normal outcome of a proposed resolution on the table, but to continue research and development at this time. The “sense of the Council” was to agree with Mr. Webber’s comment.
Peter Eddington, Media and Communications Services operation manager, requested that each council member write and send their comments about the logo so that the administration can have a basis to work from in going forward.

Mr. Kubik thanked the Council for their input and commented that the administration will review their comments and present them to LPK for further revision. He also stated that he and the administration’s desire is to continue working with the Council on this matter and all issues and fully appreciates the Council’s oversight role and looks forward to complying with its input and directives.   COE Meeting Report, June 10, 2015